Friday 29th August

I woke up today feeling very lucky. Lucky to be waking up and opening my tent door on to a beautiful view of the river Isar. Lucky that the sun is beaming down across the crisp morning water. And lucky that I now have a bike which has functioning brakes and I no longer have to bring myself to a halt using my feet.

I made it to a beautiful medieval town called Landshut last night. My route out of Munich was pretty easy going. I followed my instinct and took a mixture of tow-paths and roads. My bike is essentially more equipped to roads than tow-paths and whenever one got too much I'd retreat to the other. My not-so trusty steed has been riding beautifully thanks to its 2 day spa retreat being rebuilt, tuned, and pampered. If it could it would have worn a robe and slippers. The boys down Guten Biken were true pros and made sure everything was set perfectly for me to continue my journey. They also invited me for a beer after work and it was unfortunate that I didn't have time to. Maybe next time ey...

 I too was feeling duly refreshed. It took a few hours to work through the reservoir of Bavarian pilsner sitting in my stomach but it was a liberating feeling to be back on my bike after a 3 day rest.

After 80km I arrived at Landshut, just on the river Isar. There perched on top of the hill wad a great castle which peered down across the valley and the town and despite having to grind up said never ending hill, it was well worth it. Being down in the valleys for the last few weeks this was the first time I could get some perspective on my route and the enormity of the country..

Down in the town there was another Bavarian festival taking place. This like all other Bavarian celebrations was held in an enormous marquee, with rows of tables end on end, filled with men and women in full local costume, drunk to their eyeballs on litre pints. It was a rowdy affair with music I didnt know, but if I hadn't had spent the last 3 days marinating my liver in intoxicants I would have joined them for a couple of litres in my non-Bavarian Lycra. 

From the off this morning I felt strong. I slept beautifully in my sleeping bag. So much so it's becoming increasingly difficult to get up in the mornings. I was only woken when a dog tried to attack or make love with my tent. 

I followed the Isar river through nature reserves where other smaller tributaries joined and birds swooped over lakes. It was the most stunning scenery I'd seen so far. Eventually the river joined on to the Danube! My first sighting of my route for the next 1,800 kilometres. She's a beeeauty! A lot calmer, a bit like the Thames with rowers going up and down.

About 25km from Passau, the cycle path brought me to a dead end at the water's edge. The only way to cross was by ferry. So I did. Just me and a tiny craft pootling across. My 5 minute boat trip was most excellent, it gave my legs a rest and everything was peaceful.

So eventually after 140km Im here in Passau. its only 5km from my next country, Austria and only another 90km from Linz. They make that chocolate right?...

As a real final point, sorry if I've been rambling, this blog does sometimes take the form of a therapy session so I do apologise... Back to Germany, which is now behind me. My stay in Munich was perfect, its a great place, as is the whole of Bavaria. Take the time to visit if you can. Do not however try and visit the site of the 1923 Munich Beer Hall Putsch as this is now a 5 story hotel. I do these things so you don't have to...

Til next time, Auf Wiedersehn pets! 

B Boy x

Thursday 29th August

Hello friends! It's been a few days I hear you say. You've been waiting impatiently for news from the fatherland. Well, I'm alive and well but less could be said for my bike. I'm in Munich and the reasons for coming here was to repair/replace a broken rear pannier rack. This was done by the best bike mechanics ever at Guten Biken and then kindly returned to me yesterday. 90€ for a new heavy duty Tubus rack, then another 40€ to fix the utterly useless and deadly brakes. So after a rest and stopover for a couple of days the bike was ready to roll and off I left with a hunger to get some miles done and bang, there goes the rear spoke. It must have taken a big knock while I left it unattended somewhere as the supposedly bomb proof rims were completely buckled. Back to the shop, help! So must stay another night while a new wheel is built. Another €80...I'm haemorrhaging euros faster than they can print it.

So after nearly 3 days in Munich I'm still without a functioning bike. I await patiently the call to go collect it and FINALLY leave this place... A bit like hotel California - you can check out when you like, but you can never leave.

Can I just say firstly, the bike shop I found in Munich is perhaps the best bike shop I've ever found (sorry Saddle Safari). Run by an Ozzie and a scot, this is a Mecca for bike lovers and home to some bespoke built and renovated bikes. They're true bike lovers and I stood in awe surveying their workshop. Guten Biken is the name, check it out. They've also lent me a bike in the meantime. Which has ironically (or not) got a puncture....cheeeeers.

So apart from bike maintenance it's been very busy in Munich. Finally some time for some well needed R&R. I've got the 2 ton booze gorilla off my back now and I can safely say I do not want to drink again for a couple of weeks. Munich is for the beer lover and I've been casually knocking back beer after beer in beer halls and on street corners.

I've been staying in what I can only describe as a hippy commune. Somewhere between a Gulag and an immigrant internment centre. It's called The Tent and is made up of 2 tents with various other chill out areas. One tent is full of 100 beds. The other you can sleep on blankets on the floor. I can't help but think of pictures on the news of the Superbowl in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina. Bodies and possessions spread everywhere, ordered chaos. But it's fun and we've been treated to a passing Portuegeuse band serenading us each night plus some Basque travelling dance group. Certainly unexpected, but met some excellent people. I've laughed more here than I have in the last 2 weeks. Spent time with a lovely girl called Rachel and a couple, Mark and Samantha have kept me entertained with stories of wheelie bin domino rally: put the wrong colour bin out on bin day and see how many people in the street copy you. His top score was 5 houses in a row... I'm definitely trying this.

Also met a chap called Wolfgang. 73 from Bavaria. Went to the same beer house every day for 48 years. He came over as I looked lost apparently. He then bought me loads of beers. I felt guilty about fleecing an old man of his pension but he assured me he was a Doctor and had loads of it. He also wouldn't let me drink the last 3 of any of my pints as this was not fresh. So 2 more fresh ones were lined up and duly dispatched. At this point I was going to explain to him Minesweeping in pubs but I thought it best not to ruin the mystique of the English gent abroad.

So, well rested, well intoxicated and very well fed, I'm ready to leave this place. I've stayed longer than planned but I guess this is what happens. These set backs were put here to test me and my budget. Safe to say ill be living off scraps from the dinner table again...

I am however excited to get going. I'm only 120 miles from Passau and the Danube. Essentially Austria, the land of the Alps which I should be bypassing with some clever routing.

Now, just to wait for this bloody bike....

Cheerio for now

Loves, xxxxx

Sunday 25th August

I hear it was a washout at the Oval in the last test of The Ashes. Well it must have been quite a big cloud as I've been under it for the last 2 days. It's a real wet one. The type of days where it just rains and rains. You think it's about as hard as you've ever seen rain then it comes down even harder and it actually hurts your skin. If its a day where if I was back in England, and I owned my on own home, I'd seriously consider hoovering it. Then decide against it and watch the 100 best cricket catches ever on Youtube.

I've seen people all day running in and out of cars, into shops, screaming because they're getting wet. Then I cycle past with water running down my nose. I actually think I've been drier in the bath. My hands are reaching a dangerous uncharted territory where they've gone past being wrinkly and prune-like and I fear the skin might dissolve and fall off. To make it worse, I've lost the feeling and control of two fingers on my left hand so I wouldn't even know if they did fall off. 

So as you can tell things are going well! I am now however in relative comfort. I'm sat in a kebaberie in a town called Crailsheim and have just polished off an extra large doner, chips and salad and a Bavarian beer. The man behind the till didn't understand my order as I ordered rice but I am too hungry to care. I'm also drying my clothes on their radiators while I watch one of the Harry Potters on the tele in German. I never did like Harry Potter but this will do.

Tent it is again tonight. I'm getting very good at finding hidden spots on public land. Tonight you will find me around the back of a tool shed by an allotment. It's always a danger putting a tent up in the dark because more of than not, you open the door in the morning to find you're on a public thoroughfare and dog walkers are mumbling disapprovingly.

I did another 80 miles or so today along the Kocken river. If I'm honest I've stopped counting each day. I always forget the number I started on in the morning so I just know I've done in total 1,393km. I'm looking forward to getting through Germany now. It's a bloody big country! The people are generally friendly but it doesn't help that I struggle with the language. I've only been to Berlin, hamburg and cologne in the past and now I can proudly say I've passed within 30km of High Wycombe's twinned town, Kelkeim. Can't wait to recount that anecdote to the grandkids!

In terms of me, aside from my hand, everything else is fine. I'm well into the routine now and I'm quite happy sitting and watching the world go by. It is true what they say. I've had a loooot of time to think through things. I think I'm running out already though. Need to go a bit more metaphysical and ponder my existence a bit more. 

My knee doesn't hurt anymore, it just clicks, and im coping well with doing 80 odd miles day after day. I now understand that when I start getting grumpy and swear a lot going up hills it means im hungry and I need to eat. I can also gauge how much I've eaten in terms of calories and when I will need to eat again. Essentially, I'm eating a lot. And that's amazing.

So tomorrow, well, my rear rack has now broken. Snapped properly this time. Im going to need to get a train to Munich. It's only about 100km away but the bike won't make it with all my bags. I will need to seriously consider rearranging my bags and placing some on front pannier racks as the roads are only going to get worse and this is twice already...

Anyhoo, ill probably sit through the end of Harry Potter and then head off to my the sanctuary of my tent. Dry and warm for another 8 hours. Perfick.

Can I just say a few thank yous. It's a bit off the diary day format but I'm sure you can manage.

Firstly, thanks to everyone who's donated so far! I'm amazed by people's generosity and you can sleep well knowing you've done a good thing.

A particular thanks to my new favourite recruitment company, Excel Recruitment. In my opinion, the best Recruitment lot out there. If you want recruiting, you know who are the best. Diane, in particular and my friend Jim Gray. You're both heroes and thanks heaps.

Keep them coming!

I feel this is my Lenny Henry moment so I won't do the insincere bit where they talk into camera. But dip in your pockets and throw a bit of change me way yeh?!

MS Trust have sent me out some lovely vests to wear. Ill be picking them up from Budapest so I'll be rocking their baby blue singlets. The fact theyre blue and not orange like the MS Society is the main reason I chose them.

There I said it.. But thanks again!

Love to you all

B Man x

Saturday 24th August - 1,200km so far

I've reached Heidelberg. Never been here before, but my friend Anna used to live here and one of my others now lives here. My mum text me to say she hopes I like Heidelberg. I'm not quite sure how she knew I was here. She told me she'd been here before on a school trip and the bus driver let her drive the coach round the car park. Knowing my mum, she was probably doing donuts with 30 screaming kids in the back. I think I got my mum's gregarious, free-spirited side, and my dad's love of pottering about.

I checked into a hostel after 3 nights on the bounce in the tent. Found one on the Internet that looked pretty cheap. It was above a Lidl, next to the bus station. I had to pass through all the winos drinking the cheap Lidl beers on the steps. One guy waved his can at me so I waved back with my bottle of Yop.

Met an Ozzie couple in the hostel. They were doing a bit of European touring and this was their 2nd night in the city. They were both struggling because they'd been on a bar crawl the night before and had been necking Jagerbomb knock-offs from Lidl. I haven't been on a bar crawl in ages. I'd love a bar crawl right now. When I hit Eastern Europe things are gonna go crazy...

Was knackered after cycling 90 miles so I passed out quite early. There was a very friendly chap called Wen from Thailand in my room, I was trying to sleep but he kept wanting to talk to me about cycling. He said I was a hero and couldn't believe it. Or berieve it. Ahhh...that's..

I'd arranged to meet my friend from my year abroad, Kristina, in the morning for breakfast. We did a bit of sightseeing first and she showed me round the place. Heidelberg is the first place I've stayed in Germany so far I could honestly say I'd spend more time in. There were a fair few tourists but Kristina knew the shortcuts and we ploughed through crowds with our bikes. She was an excellent host and guide and explained the history of the whole place. However she didn't know what type of stone was used for the buildings so it wasn't the complete tour. It was red stone, so I said clay. We never found out...

Saw the huge castle on the hill, and it was beautiful. We had to cycle up a cliff to get there and I started sweating just looking at the slope. 

It's a prestigious University town so we also had a look round the university library. It was pretty impressive and much better than my one at Manchester Met. My only real memory of that place was trying to eat a bag of Quavers in my pocket without rustling the bag and the library staff seeing. It's quite a skill. I favour the maize based crisp for this as it makes less noise. My brother was the master at this. We call him Grab-bag because of his love of crisps (FYI they call me flapjack for the same reason). I've been told my brother Dave would turn up for double maths in the afternoon with both blazer pockets full of frazzles, fruit gums in the top pocket and a mr freeze down either sleeve. And I wonder why I was told once by a French teacher not to copy my brother..

So left Heidelberg. Was great to see Kristina and I've missed having a good chat. She's getting married next week so congratulations! Ill drink a Lidl beer in your honour. 

I'm heading now along the Neckar river to try and get to Munich and the Danube. It's about 200km away so expect to be there by late Sunday or Monday. It's also started to rain again something rotten. I've been getting wet though in my army jacket. I think there must be a bullet hole somewhere where the previous owner was shot. That's probably why the army wanted to sell it. And that's why it was £20.

So going to ask if I can camp in someone's garden tonight. I'm told if they say yes you're guaranteed a shower, a sit down meal and a cup of coffee in the morning. With this weather ill take that any day.

See you later, Ben

:) ;) :( :D :/

Thursday 22nd August.

Set off early, those freight trains were echoing through the whole valley all night. Washed and cleaned by the side of the road. Lost all inhibitions now, I've truly gone feral. Watched the Rhein flow downstream. Now I realised that rather than riding downhill (because obviously north to south is down right?) I'm following the river uphill to its source. Bugger.

The sun was put today and made quick miles early on. Caught up on more cricket podcasts, pondered whether Geoffrey Boycott and Phil Tufnell would like to take part in a show where they cycle a tandem through trying home-made cakes and talking cricket all day. BBC 3 perhaps. I'd watch it.

I cruised easily into Mainz about 70km away. However not wishing to moan. But I will. I'm getting my first saddle sore a week or so in. I've liberally applied soothin chamoix cream day and night but I'll just have to get used to it. It'll be the first of many I think. I'll have the hide of a rhino by I'm finished. Buttocks like polished mahogany. Sorry I'm fetishising again...

Right, cruised into Mainz. Nestled on the Rhein and the Main rivers. It's a bit of a thoroughfare for all boat traffic and many cruisers have passed up and down. I forgot to add, all along this river there are countless medieval castles perched on the hill tops all around. Unfortunately I cannot be bothered to climb the steps to visit them. Once you've seen one medieval castle you've see them all. And im sure they wouldn't touch Warwick castle. 

Mainz was ok. Nothing special. Some old parts, some new, lots of traffic and I realised my pannier rack was missing a screw so it was rubbing on my wheel. Another bike shop trip was required. 

I passed a Fitness First gym on my way in too! I've got a worldwide pass but never actually thought it worked. I tried and to my amazement I was buzzed through. Sweeeet! I looked a mess and smelt awful. The woman behind the till checked my details because she didn't believe I could afford a gym membership. 

Had a lovely sauna, steam, sauna, steam, ice shower, the full treatment. Was amazing. I felt like i was in a spa. Apart from I was using paper hand towels to dry myself. Less champneys.. 

So I had to wait again for a bike shop to open in the morning. I found a campsite near the centre run by a moody German woman. Cost me 8€ so was pretty good. Had some dinner. Chatted to people about the place; a Dutch guy cycling back from Switzerland. And a man from Canada with his kids. I assume he was a male but I genuinely couldn't tell.. He had a wife but there was something not right.

Relaxed in the eve and was invited for a beer with a random German who lived on the campsite. He was fun and a bit nuts. He loved my plan and bought me a load of beers. We ended up going to a local pub til late as he wanted to show me women... What a guy. So to bed, drunk again. Tomorrows gonna be a struggle.

Oh well, loving it! Off down to Mannheim and Heidelberg to meet an old uni friend. 

Laters all xx

Wednesday 21st August.

Hello people. Well firstly, let me say thank you for following me thus far. I did give the proclaimer at the beginning that much of this would be waffle interjected with trivial topics and in depth analysis of snacks so you were fore-warned.

I've had over 1500 page views so either my mum is pressing refresh every 10 minutes or it's getting an audience. I'm pleased to hear it as it does keep me going knowing it's not just me out here. Apparently someone in French Polynesia has viewed it, probably with the hope of some x-rated fat man cycling material. Very niche to say the least.

Alas, i also wanted to apologise for my rather downbeat post yesterday. Quite frankly I was completely fried both mentally and physically and I wasn't enjoying it. Well it's amazing what a day of rest does to you and a belly full of curry wurst and local plonk.

So woke up today. Had a cold night again. Think I need a new sleeping bag. Mine was donated by a Spanish friend called Guillermo years ago. I did wonder why he gave it to me. I think I now realise. I need an upgrade. In the meantime ive taken to wearing all my clothes at night including my well travelled thermal long johns. Also, a little tip for you, if like me you're too long for your sleeping bag, your mat and your tent, then stick to hotels. no but seriously, fill the end of your bag with clothes, etc. and this will stop your feet getting cold when they inevitably spend the night pressed against the wall of the tent. 

Also my trusty tent it starting to get really funky. Not james brown style either. It smells like a teenager's bedroom. What i need to do is air it out one morning but frankly i don't have time to watch my tent aerate. I could get an air freshener, maybe those in car christmas tree ones. i might then be the only man in the world who's tent smells like the interior of a Volkswagen Passat.

So with tent neatly packed and now with my chain as fragile as my mental state i crept along for 10km mainly downhill until I passed through a clearing and saw perhaps the most breathtaking view of my trip so far. I'd arrived in Holstenplatz on the banks of the river Mosel. On one side Reisling vineyards grew on the steep rocky slopes amongst medieval churches. On the other, alpine firs rose from the water's edge to the summit of the cliff. It was truly like Lord of the Rings when they pass along the river in The Fellowship with the great stone statues pointing the way. Unfortunately my phone was out of battery so couldn't take pics :(

My mission for today is simple: repair my chain, fix my bike and rest. The nearest shop was in Koblenz. I was not gonna make it on my bike so train it was. Only 29km but still. My first bit of public transport...felt like I was cheating but I think I've deserved a rest. While I waited I drank ein kaffee and ate some cakes. Nussacker cakes are my new flapjack...

With new chain purchased and fitted (by myself I hasten to add), I thought it about time I did some sightseeing. Had a mooch and treated myself to a curry wurst, chips and a local Reisling of course. Sat and caught up on some social admin and fired off some emails. After Facebook was finished I left and decided to take my first trip down the Rhein.

I knew that for the next 300km at least it would be flat and smooth so I was happy again. I set off with gusto. After 10km I was drawn off the track up a path following the recognisable 'historical monument' signs. I was in a small town called Rhens and after visiting the local tourist office I knew everything about this town. The German chap, Herr Mech (comb-over, sandles, smelt of mildew) who worked there was so proud to tell me this was the original spot where all the German Kings were 'elected' and then crowned. Home of the Konigstulle. I cycled up the steep slope en route stopping to ask directions with an octogenarian gent. Neither spoke each others language but I managed to explain using my best gcse German about my trip. He nodded unimpressed and carried on sweeping his drive.

At the Konigstulle there was a gathering of locals, all 60 and over. I was collared by one woman and explained this was a special day. Apparently it was the annual election of the new Chancellor of the Konigstulle so folk dressed up in medieval costumes and decided things. She explained AT LENGTH and kindly translated all 6 sides of her husbands speech for me... I smiled and nodded politely as she struggled for 15 minutes..I was I introduced to the whole community (I pretended I came all this way to see it...) and offered a glass of wine. I had 4. A beaded gent kept bringing me more so I felt obliged. It was quite nice to see all this and I felt strangely privileged. They were obviously very proud of their heritage. I made my excuses and left pleased I'd had such a strange insight into another by-gone tradition.

I carried on to Boppard, cooked my dinner on a bench. Got lots of looks as I don't think it's standard behaviour. Sat in a pub and watched a Schalke football match with locals and the bar woman was from Yorkshire of all places! Home from home at last...

So in pitch darkness, I pitched my tent again, and again by 2 freight train lines, and a main road but I didn't care.

Tuesday 20th August - 115km

So things just got hilly! If I'm honest I didn't really do a great deal of planning for my route through Germany. I opened google maps, entered my start and my finish and it plotted me a lovely course through the heart of the country and down along the Rhein. This lack of planning foresight may come as no surprise to some, probably to most actually, however had I turned on the 'terrain' function I would have observed that my route to the Rhein took me through the once volcanic region of West Germany called the Eiffel. Millions of years ago these lands were covered in streams of molten lava and turning the pedals uphill, it felt as though it still was.

So for the last day and a half since crossing the border I have plodded up and steamed down hill after hill after endless climbs and alpine passes.. The fact I still have functioning legs and mind is a marvel (I think the mind went somewhere near Maidstone actually). 

It all got a bit much half way up one climb. I was out of water and all that i had left was a hyper concentrated mix of lemon flavoured electrolyte tablet and a small amount of water. It was like drinking jif lemon and made it all worse. When I was overtaken by a retired farmer on a boneshaker I admitted defeat, threw my bike down into a bush and collapsed face down. I think i drifted off to sleep until a woman, assuming I was dead, stopped her car and got out to prod me asking if i was ok. I sprang up gesturing with hands in prayer next to my cheek that I was sleeping and felt like a plonker but at least she cared. Slightly embarrassed, I continued onwards.

If I'm honest there was not much of note to recall after this. It was just up and down for hours. My legs were groaning and I was hating Germany. The only thing that kept me going was listening to repeats of Test Match Special podcasts. Briefly it transported me to greener pastures of home and the sun-dappled cricket pitches. I know there's the fifth ashes test coming up so ill need to find some way of listening to it. I don't imagine they're particularly down with the finer points of cricket over here in the Rheinland...

So I stopped in a town called Mayen in the heart of the region, the first bit of civilisation I'd seen for days. There was still nothing there, so cross that off your holiday list. I ate an ice cream , which was awesome and only 60 cents, and scarpered. As the sun set low in the sky I continued sky-wards. It was a beautiful evening and I was spoilt by having both the moon and the sun greeting me at the same time. Simple pleasures I guess..

I wish there was something more amusing to report today but sadly here wasn't. I have to make my own fun out here!

Oh and I broke my chain hauling my considerable bulk up a massive incline. It's only half snapped with a tin foil thick piece of metal holding it all together. But I was limping along so Ill need to find a bike shop tomorrow as ill be stuck in deadsville, Germany at this rate.

So again, in the dark I whacked my tent up, probably in somebody's garden, but who cares. It's getting pretty cold at night so need to wrap up. I ate a simple bowl of tuna, tomatoes and pesto, with my fingers and drifted of to sleep with Geoffrey Boycott.

Tomorrow, the Rhein, Mainz and beyond! And flat paths... Phew :)

Alles Klar!

Monday 19th August

Kommen sie bitte, und listen to Kraftwerk. I have finally reached Germany! Im sat in a truck stop diner, the man to right of me has a genuine mullet, handlebar tash, white vest, cowboy boots and is stalking a fruit machine. The chap to the left is pretending not to stare at me. And they're playing Enya. Welcome to the 80s and welcome to Germany. 

I've made it as far as Prum today, near the Luxembourg border. Really went deep into the locker, and did a lot of cursing and grunting throughout the day. Its fine as nobody can hear me. It's suddenly gotten quite a bit hillier and now I can see what those training rides up and down Winter Hill did for me. Turns out, not a lot.

Today started well, stayed in a hostel in Liege last night, made light work of their breakfast buffet as usual. Le monsieur next to me in the queue gave a typical Gallic puff of the lips when he saw the mountain of food I had on my plate. I assured him this was because I'm cycling. I should probable starting wearing my helmet to breakfast just to be clear.

I also had the pleasure last night of meeting Nathanial from Massachusetts. He, like me is 27, 6'6, doesnt fit in the bunk beds and solo cycling round Europe. Except he is coming to the end of his 3 month trip and I'm only just beginning mine. He seemed pretty atheltic and said he'd lost about 7kgs since the start. I must admit I noticed something resembling an abdominal muscle this morning. Not quite a 6 pack, more the single ones fallen out of the multipack on the reduced shelf. But we're getting there. My legs however are coming along nicely. In a fetishistic way that only cyclists know, Ive enjoyed observing my thighs grow..by the time I'm finished they'll be great monoliths hewn from alabaster and ill never wear trousers again.

So after leaving Liege I headed south on the main roads towards Verviers, through the route des sources and once I reached the summit at 700m it plateaued through a beautiful natural park of Alpine forests, dissected by long straight roads. It was apparently a tourist hotspot but I saw no cars and nothing to do. Just trees and signs saying keep off the land. 

And at last, a German sign. I'd made it out of Belgium. I congratulated myself on another milestone ticked off and stopped in a town called Bullingen where they were holding a village fete. I naturally wandered along in my Lycra and poked my head around. There were smiling old folk dancing the waltz, a German Rick Wakeman on a keyboard singing, a beer tent and some lads playing cut the head off of a dead goose with a sword whilst blindfolded. Apparently a local tradition...I'm starting to feel very Louix Theroux wandering into weird isolated communities. 

I asked the woman in the beer tent where the nearest big town was as my map had run out a long while back. She told me its over the German border... I thought I was already in Germany! Turns out I was in the little known part of Belgium with only 60,000 people all speaking German and i still had another 30km to go. Sweet Lord!

So ate some chips und sauce and pedalled off again. Finally arriving here into the welcoming arms of this trucker's tavern. Rattled off another 80+ miles again today so on course and feeling fresh. Tenting tonight again, cannae wait!

Tshcuss

MAP - Journey so far

Day 5

3 countries (UK, France, Belgium)

Approx 330 miles

Sunday 18th August 

Wet, wet, wet. And I'm not talking Marty Pellow. Woke up to rain hammering down on the tent. Braved it outside to take care of some business only to met by 07.15 express from Bruxelles who will have had a nice treat over their coffee and croissant. 

So rain's arrived, sunglasses away. Time to try out my all weather, standard issue camo gore tex jacket purchased from an army surplus vendor online. Once belonged to a certain Private Jenkins. Whoever he was he either died in this jacket or killed many men... I am an accessory to war...however it does keep me dry and cost only £20 so who's complaining?

Over more dirt tracks and cobbled hills in the wet. Slipping and sliding all over, this is getting a little hairy! Nearly stacked it but wrote myself before going into a ditch. 

Need to make it to near Germany today, got miles in my legs and an eye for the border! I can just smell that Vorsprung Durch Technik! A mix of Ruhr steel and Castrol Gtx.

Taken shelter from the rain in a lovely cafe in Leuven. The owners, Daniel and his wife heard my story and kindly gave me a bag of bread, pastries, toms, tuna and bottles of water. What kind folk and I was truly grateful. This is the sort of hospitality I'd hoped for. I've given them my blog address so if you're reading - thanks! 

Again I wound through the maze of cycle paths never really knowing where I was just hoping it was taking me to the desired destination. Time flies by and stands still like this, just staring ahead avoiding obstacles and looking out for the next sign. I can't remember much if I'm honest. I was in the zone just pedalling hard and flying.

I did take some time in those quieter moments to take care of some basic maths. Now calculations are not my strong point so correct me if I'm wrong. But I've worked out that once I've finished I will have turned each pedal 3,600,000 times (I havent written my my workings out - minus points), One of my knees is clicking each stroke too so that's playing on my mind. That's a lot of clicks... My mind does wander a lot and this is what I ponder.

The rain just fell all day. Ate 2 foot long baguettes with extras for lunch in the entrance to the Belgian equivalent to Homebase. Luckily it was Sunday and it was closed. Also did some downward dogs and sun salutations so I'm sure the security will have a laugh looking back through the CCTV tomorrow.

Ditched the cycle paths for the last 25km into Liege. It was taking me all around the houses and I've had enough of the houses. Up and over a few hills and ill be there. Floored it for about an hour and eventually rolled, weary and damp, into Liege. Very pretty with a huge canal running through it. Managed to find another hostel. Washed my clothes, ate lots of pasta and drank a few cold ones...

Another long day planned tomorrow. Early rise and thrash out 90+ miles. Hoping for sun :-/

Laters x

Saturday 17th August - 130km

Faffed around again this morning. Made sure I got my monies worth at the hostel breakfast. A continental breakfast no less. But not like those served at your swanky hotel but what the Belgians and other Northern Europeans (I've found) call breakfast. Mild squares of cheese and non distinct discs of meat. Served on bread. With jam. And a hot egg. So Square + disc + jam x 6. Sufficiently fuelled if a little sick.

Another delay to my day was that first I needed to find a bike shop. I had a few minor repairs to attend  and I also need to procure a bell. Ive always thought a bell was for middle aged women but it is essential to ding dawdling belgian cyclists out the way. So far ive tried whistling and shouting but ill do as the belgians do and buy a bell.

I was informed by the tourist officer that i would find one in the town centre. None was found. After a while of going back and forth I gave up. For a country where I've seen more cyclists than drivers, one with such a rich cycling history; eddy Merckx, the tour of Flanders, Ghent-wevelgen, etc. I've seen zero bike shops.

Part of the reason for this perhaps is what I was told (by Gilles the barman) was the grey economy in bikes. Nobody owns one for long enough before it gets nicked, so you nick somebody else's and so on. The system keeps revolving in perfect balance.  It's strange but it seems to work. 

After the flat straight paths of the Bruges - Ghent canal, I've now encountered the cobbled road...looks beautiful but is a nightmare to ride on. I've tried every which way to successfully navigate over but have found slow and steady is best. It feels like the pavee sections of the Paris - Roubaix race with 60kg on your back...that's why they call it The Hell of the North!

Thankfully though the terrain has offered some more variation for my idle mind. No longer stretching fields in both directions, I've been winding along country roads, through quaint towns, tow-paths, tracks, up and o'er dale! You see, Belgian cycle paths are a thing of simple beauty. Across the whole of Belgium there is a network of numbered checkpoints and all you need do is type your start and finish into a route finder and it gives you a long list of numbers. Simply follow these and you're there! Simple - yes. Open to error - most definitely! Not knowing actually where you are and relying on mere numbers makes it impossible to ask for directions...however once on track it's like a puzzle. Join the numbers and you win! Just don't get lost...

Washed my clothes last night in the shower. A rudimentary soap/scrubbing set up. Seemed to work, relative freshness! Took to drying them on the back of my bike. Now 4 jerseys strapped to my panniers - wearing one every 30 minutes to dry them. Very much a Rafa Benitez squad rotation system. I do now look like a

rolling haberdashery so getting even more strange looks. 

After 100km arrived in Grimbergen, home of the blonde bier similar to Leffe. Delicious. So in stopping to fill up my bottles in a bar I ordered one. Crisp, refreshing and went straight to my head. I was the talk of the bar suddenly. A strange sweaty man vacuum-packed in Lycra propping up the bar. Le Patron asked me where I was from, we began chatting. Folks around me piped up, next thing I know I'd drunk 6 beers, and not paid for one! They all spoke French so I was in my element again. And now drunk being propositioned a sofa for the night. She was nearly 60, fabienne her name, so despite my potential beer goggles, I respectfully declined and set off once more. Needed to get near Liege to break the back of Belgium. It was nice though to properly chat to some people again, this was the one factor which I was worried about. Thank The Lord for French then.

I cycled in the dark following more numbers that I've written across my top tube. Cycling drunk is a revelation and I felt like Wiggo in a time trial - hunched over my drops, grinding the gears for another 30km until I was exhausted.. Bed time. Found a spot of grass, tent up. In sleeping bag... Whoooooooosh!!!..ehh!???Turns out it was on a high speed train line and the Brussels express passed every 30 minutes. Ahhh great! So much for good sleep. I drifted off slowly with earphones firmly plugged in ears, the soothing voices of Test Match Special cradling me off to sleep.

Arise tomorrow, eat, fuel up and head to Liege. Gonna put a shift in and touch close to 100 miles. Hopefully.. Til tomorrow! Ciao!! Xxx

Friday 16th August - 110km

So I'm writing this pretty drunk in the main square in Ghent. My plans for total domination of this town didn't quite go to plan. It turns out that going out sharking in shorts, a fleece and cycle shoes isn't the same as in Wycombe. Should've brought some loafers and a collar... 

I am however seeing and interacting with human kind. This is a rare treat. Over the last few days I have gotten very acquainted with my inner voice. Lots of singing rubbish songs, and when that gets too much I resort to vocally talking to myself saying I'm stupid to be singing rubbish songs. Then I laugh at the fact I'm talking to myself. I'm told this is the first sign of a breakdown?...

Fear not though people! My mental state may be a torn rag but my physical prowess remains. I've thrashed out a breezy 120km today. All over flat terrain starting in Nieuwport finishing in the picturesque setting of Ghent. My thoroughfare has been canalside pretty much most of the way. A cyclists dream, flat and well tarmacced, you can hear the tires purr beneath you as you turn over the pedals.

Other than that the scenery is rather repetitive. Fields, canal, cow, fields. Easy cycling but numbs the brain after a while. 

As a tourists guide, a few of the points of interest id like to raise.

1) osteend. Made famous as a retreat from heroin addiction by Marvin Gaye. I'm told he bounded the dunes in his attempt to get clean. However as a town it's hectic and smells of fish. Also, notably I couldn't find a wifi hotspot which was a heart breaker. 

2) Bruges. I bypassed this today. It was always my plan tourist hotspot. For exactly that reason. It's full of tourists. From my osteend experience, a fully loaded bike and tourists do not mix so I eschewed all former plans and carried on. Lunch time and I fell asleep face down, shirt off, dribbling, in a park. I was exhausted. Ungracious, but much needed.

3) Ghent; absolutely stunning! Bruges without the Americans and Colin Farrell. Beautiful architecture a la bruge; like a fairy tale with canals, castles, medieval taverns and cobbled streets. A must if you're planning a weekend away. Beers are also cheap and beer shops open til 4am. 

So lastly lastly... I spoke to my first sentient being today. A man. Bart was his name. Married, two kids and lived near Ghent. He helpfully showed me the proper route to his home town and rode with me the 15km (he was cycling). A lovely chap and was great to converse properly again. I thought I enjoyed my own company. It turns out I prefer others'. 

Anyway, tomorrow; Brussels, and beyond, hopefully to Aacken in Germany. Lets see how this hangover sits with me...

Bye!! Xx