Tuesday 20th August - 115km

So things just got hilly! If I'm honest I didn't really do a great deal of planning for my route through Germany. I opened google maps, entered my start and my finish and it plotted me a lovely course through the heart of the country and down along the Rhein. This lack of planning foresight may come as no surprise to some, probably to most actually, however had I turned on the 'terrain' function I would have observed that my route to the Rhein took me through the once volcanic region of West Germany called the Eiffel. Millions of years ago these lands were covered in streams of molten lava and turning the pedals uphill, it felt as though it still was.

So for the last day and a half since crossing the border I have plodded up and steamed down hill after hill after endless climbs and alpine passes.. The fact I still have functioning legs and mind is a marvel (I think the mind went somewhere near Maidstone actually). 

It all got a bit much half way up one climb. I was out of water and all that i had left was a hyper concentrated mix of lemon flavoured electrolyte tablet and a small amount of water. It was like drinking jif lemon and made it all worse. When I was overtaken by a retired farmer on a boneshaker I admitted defeat, threw my bike down into a bush and collapsed face down. I think i drifted off to sleep until a woman, assuming I was dead, stopped her car and got out to prod me asking if i was ok. I sprang up gesturing with hands in prayer next to my cheek that I was sleeping and felt like a plonker but at least she cared. Slightly embarrassed, I continued onwards.

If I'm honest there was not much of note to recall after this. It was just up and down for hours. My legs were groaning and I was hating Germany. The only thing that kept me going was listening to repeats of Test Match Special podcasts. Briefly it transported me to greener pastures of home and the sun-dappled cricket pitches. I know there's the fifth ashes test coming up so ill need to find some way of listening to it. I don't imagine they're particularly down with the finer points of cricket over here in the Rheinland...

So I stopped in a town called Mayen in the heart of the region, the first bit of civilisation I'd seen for days. There was still nothing there, so cross that off your holiday list. I ate an ice cream , which was awesome and only 60 cents, and scarpered. As the sun set low in the sky I continued sky-wards. It was a beautiful evening and I was spoilt by having both the moon and the sun greeting me at the same time. Simple pleasures I guess..

I wish there was something more amusing to report today but sadly here wasn't. I have to make my own fun out here!

Oh and I broke my chain hauling my considerable bulk up a massive incline. It's only half snapped with a tin foil thick piece of metal holding it all together. But I was limping along so Ill need to find a bike shop tomorrow as ill be stuck in deadsville, Germany at this rate.

So again, in the dark I whacked my tent up, probably in somebody's garden, but who cares. It's getting pretty cold at night so need to wrap up. I ate a simple bowl of tuna, tomatoes and pesto, with my fingers and drifted of to sleep with Geoffrey Boycott.

Tomorrow, the Rhein, Mainz and beyond! And flat paths... Phew :)

Alles Klar!